


For A Better Day

by J_Ace_Flicker



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, More to add - Freeform, Nonbinary Haruhi, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, agender haruhi, aromantic nekozawa umehito, autistic haruhi, disability aids, disabled haruhi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Ace_Flicker/pseuds/J_Ace_Flicker
Summary: Fujioka Haruhi did not want to join the host club, but they had to repay their debts, after all.They just wished the other club members weren't quite so... clingy."Tamaki, I TOLD you to stop waiting outside the debate club room for me!""But my dearest Haruhi, what if someone were to hurt my precious child? Daddy couldn't live with himself if that happened!"They felt a headache coming on. Again. "For the last time: you. Are not. My dad!"Yeah, their life certainly was interesting.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Night_Owl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Night_Owl/gifts).



> Am I impulse writing this? Yes. Am I pantsing this like everything else I've ever written? Surprisingly, no!  
> And to The_Night_Owl! I hope I gifted this to the right user. I've gotten used to seeing your Instagram username and MIGHT have forgotten your ao3 one for a moment or three.

Haruhi stepped on campus, a light sweat beginning to bead on their forehead. They tugged nervously at the hem of their sweater. They woke up extra early just to see if walking every day was really possible, and they still ended up having to hurry. An hour to walk to school, that means an hour to walk back. Maybe they should see if they could find any of their textbooks online in audio format to listen to as they walked. At least then the long walk would also be productive.

“Hey, you the scholarship student?”

They stared at the girl for a second, startled, before contorting their face into a smile. They didn’t want the girl to think they were rude! “I am. My name is Fujioka Haruhi, and yours is?”

She tittered a laugh. Haruhi has never heard a titter before; they find they would have preferred to go their whole life without this misfortune. “Oh look, he doesn’t know who I am! How  _ adorable _ .” She says  _ adorable _ the way some people have said  _ slow _ and Haruhi has to stamp down a considerable amount of anger. They merely frown as she continues, “I am Princess  Ayanokoji Seika , descended from the royals of Monaru.” The girl grinned a grin that showed too many teeth and Haruhi  _ knew _ she would be trouble. “You may refer to me as Princess Ayanokoji; a commoner like you has earned no informalities with those such as myself. Now, carry my bag and--”

“No.”

The girl blinked, and Haruhi noted that she had large, blue eyes that reminded them rather of a fish. “Come again?”

“I won’t carry your bag.” One of their hands gripped the strap on their bag and the other began to beat a rapid staccato against their collarbones. “That’s just stupid.” They turned to walk away, but it seems the girl was not finished just yet. 

“You better watch yourself,  _ commoner _ .” She shoved past them, slamming her shoulder into their’s as she glided by. “Or else you might end up getting hurt.”

And suddenly, the hallway was empty.

They rocked on their heels for a moment, squeezing their eyes closed and breathing in deeply, before forcing their legs to keep walking.

They decided not to think of the girl. So they thought of the school, instead.

Ouran High was many things: prestigious, elitist, and, the most principal of all of the things it is and ever will be,  _ pretentious. _ Haruhi found the gaudy and frankly self aggrandizing decorations-- see: the portraits,  _ actual painted portraits, _ of various shareholders and members of the school strung about on bright pink walls-- to be ostentatious and frivolous. Haruhi could go on a long winded rant using all the stupidly big words these rich people seemed to adore about the waste of funds and resources into this awful decor--

And they were lost. Great.

“Oh, are you a first-year?”

Haruhi jolted forward, throat locked in startlement, as they whirled around.

“Why are you wearing that?” Oh, goodbye, brain to mouth filter. To be fair, the student-- was it a student?-- was wearing an aesthetically ragged black cloak. They were certain that was against dress code, but. Well. Rich people.

“Ah. My deepest apologies for scaring you.” And then the deep voiced student  _ bowed _ , and deeply, at that. “My name is Umehito Nekozawa, and I am a second year student.” From inside his coat, he took out one of his hands, which was wearing a puppet of a cat. “And this is Beelzeneff. I wear this cloak because I suffer from light sensitivity and will begin to develop a rash if exposed to the sun.” He made the cat droop, rubbing its hands together as though it was sheepish. “I am afraid this has cultivated a fear of all light in me, because of stories I have heard about people with light allergies that have died because of exposure. And you are?” The cat turned to look at them, somehow expectantly and patiently.

They felt like a total jerk. That wasn’t information they should have made the other student give. “I’m Fujioka Haruhi. I go by they/them pronouns.”

“Oh. I go by he/him.”

They decided they liked him. “I guess your cloak is a disability aid, then. I get that. My gloves are the same. I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that, I was just surprised.”

The boy chuckled. “That’s quite alright. Do you mind my asking what you require the gloves for, or is that too invasive?” The boy matched their stride, going slow because he was far too tall. He leaned over them, looming. His cat puppet posed curiously.

Yeah, they really liked this respectful creep. Maybe not everyone here sucked.

“I have arthritis.” They waited a beat for the  _ aren’t you too young for that? _ When none came, they smiled. “It affects my hands a lot, and these gloves are special: they compress on my joints in a way that makes it easier to use my hands pain-free.”

“Marvelous. We’ve gone in circles, by the way.”

“What.” They blinked. Once. Twice. “You’re right, we have.”

“You have no idea where you’re going, do you?”

They stuck their tongue out, “I  _ am _ a first year. And this school is stupidly big! Who needs this many decorative pillars?”

“If you show me your schedule, I can take you to the right class.”

“You’d do that? You don’t have to.” They were already fishing out their schedule as they said this.

He chuckled. “As head of the Black Magic club, it is my duty to know all that is lost.”

“That was totally a plug, wasn’t it?”

He steered them in the total opposite direction and up a flight of stairs. Yeah, they weren’t even close to right.

He paused, seeming to shrink in on himself as his shoulders hunched. “...Perhaps?”

“How many members are there?”

“Three.”

“Including you?”

“...Yes…”

“The other two don’t show up to meetings often, do they?”

“How did you know?” He sounded very upset. Like  _ about to cry _ upset. Haruhi couldn’t handle the tears of a veritable stranger.

Haruhi sighed. “I might check out your club some time.”

He immediately perked up, walking once again. “Truly?”

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t know if I really believe in all that  _ magic _ stuff though.”

“That’s quite alright!” The puppet was back in action, moving in closer to Haruhi as though to whisper a secret. Nekozawa did not bother with whispering. “I will show you all the wonders of the dark arts, and you can decide for yourself their worth.”

“Cool.” They stopped in front of a door labelled ‘ECONOMICS’. “Well, this is me.”

“Oh.” Nekozawa drooped. “Alright, then. I suppose I should go.”

“When’s the meeting, by the way?”

He smiled faintly, and Haruhi felt a rush of accomplishment. “Wednesdays at five in the evening. Room 4C on the third floor. I eagerly await your appearance.” He left by stepping into a particularly large shadow and clinging to the walls the rest of the way down the hall, before going down the stairs. His class wasn’t even in their direction, it seemed, how kind.

Their hands rested on the door handle. They pushed away their shakiness. They got off to a bad start with that  _ princess _ , but maybe there would be more students like Nekozawa. They opened the door.

“--I can’t believe you’d just--”

“Well I’m not the one who--!”

Two red heads were causing a ruckus. A group of girls were squealing and fawning over them. The teacher merely looked exasperated and did nothing to stop this.

Haruhi heaved a sigh and slid into a seat near the front row, their fingers back to tapping on their collarbones. 

Great. Fantastic. 

They resisted the urge to clamp their hands over their ears. After the quiet of Nekozawa’s acquaintance, these loud noises were grating and anxiety inducing.

Those boys were annoying.

Finally! They stretched their arms above their head, revelling in the obscenely loud  _ pop _ s their back gave out. They stifled a snicker at the grossed out and worried faces of a few of their classmates.

Now to find: a quiet place. So, obviously, a library! Their safe haven!

No, that library was weirdly loud. Lots of pointless chattering. Good thing there’s multiple libraries on campus!

… ALL of the libraries are like that. Ridiculous.  _ Rich people. _

__ Okay, according to the school website, there’s an abandoned music room that they could stow away in for a bit.

They open the door with an ominous  _ creak.  _

Rose petals fall down on them.

What.

“Ah, my Prince, I am so glad that you have arrived!” A blond hair boy swanned towards them. 

“I, uh, I think you have the wrong person!” They tried to backpedal, but the door had closed and the handle wasn’t turning.

A boy with glasses spoke up, a superficial smile stretched across his face. “Don’t worry, we don’t discriminate against the tastes of others. So tell me,” he pushed his glasses up and they glinted menacingly, “what  _ is _ your type? Is it the Prince Charming type?” The blond boy moved in too close again, dipping them and touching them way too much. 

“Oh, darling, what I’d give for but a moment with you.”

“Is it the Loli-Boy type?”

They were twirled from the too-touchy boy’s arms and placed in front of a short boy who smiled sweetly at them. “Would you like to eat cake with me an’ Ussa?” He held up a bunny.

“Uh-- I  _ really _ think that--”

“The Strong And Silent type, then?” the boy spoke over them. Jerk.

A muscular boy looked just beyond them. Haruhi decided they liked him a bit better than the others for not trying to touch them or speak over them.

“How about the Cool type,” he purred, stepping closer to them. They backed up. “And it none of those whet your appetite, then what about the Forbidden Love archetype? The Little Devil types of the host club: the Hitachiin twins.” Two red heads forced their way into their vision and Haruhi groaned, shoving their face into their hands.

“Look, I really don’t know where I am and if _ those _ two jerks are here then I  _ definitely  _ don’t want to be here.” Before they could turn to properly open the door, their shoulders were grabbed and they were yanked back, and their throat locked up again, skin crawling, everything wanting to squirm away from the invasive hands that did not have permission.

“Aw,” the first twin spoke up, setting his chin on their shoulder.

“Why don’t you like us?” The second twin followed, resting his chin on their opposite shoulder.

They prised themself from the twins’s grasp. “Because, I have the utter misfortune of sharing some classes with you two and the both of you are always so disruptive! I’m here to learn, and I can’t do that if I can’t hear the professor over your incessant gossiping!” 

“The commoner knows some big words. Who would have thought?” A voice said, but Haruhi couldn’t identify it with their blood pounding in their ears. They were backing up, the twins followed like predators, twining around each other and never taking their eyes off of Haruhi.

“Come on--”

“--just give us a chance--”

“--we can show you--”

“-- the time of your life--”

They finished together, “--if you let us!”

“No thanks.”

“Come on!” the boys grabbed their shoulders, and Haruhi felt ants under their skin and everything was a chorus of  _ wrong wrong wrong wrong _ .

“Let GO!” They stumbled backwards into something.

_ CRASH. _

__ Shattered glass all around them.

The glasses boy spoke up again, “That vase cost 80,000 yen.”

And the only thing Haruhi could say to that was, “Shit.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Panic attacks, sensory overload  
> Haruhi isn't having a very fun time at the host club.

So far, Haruhi could safely say that these guys were awful. It was only their second day of helping out around the host club, and already they wanted to bash their own head in.

“Peasant~” The gratingly dulcet tones of Suoh Tamaki called out to them. The moped their way over to him.

“Yes, Tamaki? What is it you want now?”

“Oh, don’t be like that!” He turned to one of the girls lounging on the couch with him, “Don’t hold Haru-sweetie’s attitude against him, he can’t help how he was raised! We at the host club are doing our utmost to show him a more graceful side of behavior, and, as he’s the scholarship student, I’m sure he’ll learn fast!”

“Oh, Tamaki!” one girl swooned.    
“You’re so sweet! Helping someone so ignorant and beneath your notice!” another called.

“Oh, Tamaki, you fool,” and there was the first jerk Haruhi had met, Princess Ayanokoji herself. Her hair was in an elaborate updo that looked, frankly, painful, and her fish-like eyes always reminded Haruhi of who they were speaking to-- or, rather, who was speaking at them. “You can’t train the barbarous nature of a peasant out of them, much less out of this… lesser specimen. It’s the way they’re bred, I’m afraid.”

A tic developed in their jaw, but they just began tapping at their collarbones. Breathe in and out and hold and in and hold and out and hold and  _ thump thump thump _ .

“Do you doubt me, my love?” Tamaki cradled her jaw in his hand.

“Doubt  _ you _ ? Never! I merely don’t want you to raise your hopes too high.”

“My hopes are just high enough. After all, I hoped to spend time with the most beautiful woman in the world, and now I am here, spending time with you, Princess. So you see, after obtaining that impossible dream, how can I doubt the possibility of any other?.”

“Tamaki!” Haruhi watched with concern as one of the many hyperventilating girls fainted.

“Haru-darling, please stop with that tapping. It makes you look so strange!”

“And who gave you permission to refer to me so familiarly?” they snapped back. A maelstrom of  _ Bad Feelings _ was brewing inside of them and already beginning to spill out. Why were rich people like this?

A dark voice at their ear made them even more upset, but they wrapped that up tight at his words: “If you have any questions or complaints, I would suggest directing them towards your immense debt towards our club.” Kyoya ruffled their hair, using them as a leaning post as he smiled at the girls and said something that was probably about buying club paraphernalia that Haruhi couldn’t hear over the rushing of blood in their ears at the  _ wrong _ feeling of someone  _ uninvited _ touching them.

They breathed when Kyoya let up and sauntered off, hunching in on themself and resuming their staccato. “What is it you wanted, Tamaki?”

He frowned, clearly worried about Haruhi’s demeanor, and his next words were less of a shout than usual, which Haruhi appreciated. They’d readied themself for the quiet of a library and got the roaring din of the host club instead, after all. “I was just wondering where you put the coffee we asked you to get?”

“Oh, I put it in the cupboard area by Kyoya’s desk. I’ll go get it for you.”

“Oh, wai--”

They focused on putting one foot in front of the other. They made it a few yards before their left foot landed on a crack. Naturally, they had to slow down to repeat the action on their right foot to even things out.

“Oh, Haruhi--”

“We were just playing the--”

The twins both cheered, “Which One Is Hikaru game!”

They blinked. The boys continued beaming at them. They blinked again, slower this time. One of them began to sweat. Another blink and the other was frowning.  _ How long could they keep this up for? _

“You can’t tell either?” a wisp of a voice asked. They looked to their left to see about seven girls, all with their chin in their hands, looking like their brains were about to explode. “That’s alright, they are identical after all. And their feelings are never hurt by it!”

“That’s not it. I know which one is Hikaru. I just think it’s kinda dumb that they’d try to make a game out of something so obvious.”

They continued walking; a bit more carefully, to be sure that they didn’t step on any cracks weird again. They hated that feeling.

“Obvious?” a girl echoed.

“Hey--”

“You’re not getting away--”

“From us--”

“That easy--”

In unison again, “Haruhi!”

“We can walk and talk. I told Tamaki I was getting him the coffee, so I am.”

“If it’s so obvious--”

“Which one of us is Hikaru?”

“You, obviously.”

“Wrong~” they sung.

Haruhi stopped, and the odd procession of the twins and the girls halted with them. They turned around, took a few steps backward, and looked at the twins again.

“Walk.”

One of them began walking, while the other sputtered out a “what?”

Haruhi nodded, turned in the right direction, and continued walking. “I was right. The one on my left is Hikaru. The one on my right is Karou.”

“How could you tell?” it was the wispy voiced girl again.

Haruhi just smiled, “Since everyone finds it so unexpected that I could tell the difference between them, I think… I’ll keep it a secret for now.” They nodded. “Yeah, that might be fun.”

A chorus of  _ “No!” _ s wailed behind them and they giggled. They stopped at Kyoya’s desk, went around it, and squatted to be level with the cupboards.

“Uh, are you sure you’re allowed back there?” Karou asked. 

“Yeah. I asked Kyoya where to stash the coffee and he said here, so.”

Hikaru leaned over the desk to peer down at them. “On first name basis already?”

“How scandalous.” Karou’s voice was dry in a way that told them it was supposed to be a joke, so they laughed a bit.

“Tamaki told me we all call each other by first name or he will cry.” They stood up, walking around the desk and pushing their slipping glasses back up. “I don’t handle crying strangers very well.”

“Sounds like boss.”

“So, tell me the secret to you solving our game?”

“Nope.”

“C’mon! Please?”

“Please?”   
“Please?”

And the girls echoed the twins, all of them insistent, and Haruhi lead them to Tamaki like this was their flock of ducklings.

“Tamaki.” They set the coffee down in front of him. “Here’s the coffee.”

They waited a beat.

His eyes flicked between the twins, the girls that followed the twins, Haruhi, and the coffee. They found themself grinning at Tamaki’s bafflement, shoulders shaking in silent amusement. Tamaki looked at them, raised a hand to his mouth to cover-- what was he covering? A smile? A blush? Did he have something on his teeth. He cleared his throat. “I… Have no idea what type of coffee this is.”

“Instant coffee.”

Princess Ayanokoji raised an eyebrow, speaking in a dubious voice, “ _ Instant _ coffee?”

“Oh, oh! I’ve heard of this!” He snatched up the container, proffering it up to the ceiling, one foot on top of the table. “Commoner’s do not have time to waste, everything they consume must be quick and efficient! The coffee beans are  _ already crushed _ and it takes only minutes to have your tasty beverage ready to go!” He spun, marching up to Haruhi, something almost manic in his glee as he thrust the container into their arms. “I’d like to try some of this commoner’s coffee.”

“Oh, but Tamaki…” a girl with red hair demurred, “Are you sure that that’s… safe?”

“I am willing to brave this for the opportunity to experience something new!”

“Oh, Tamaki! I want to try some, too, then!”

“Me too!”

“And me!” 

A sea of voices clamored for dollar store coffee.

“You heard the demands of our ladies, errand boy!” He clapped his hands. “Chop chop!”

They restrained a sigh, but did as told. Heat up water, put out cups in the meantime. Make sure everyone who wants one has one. Pour powder in. Retrieve hot water. Pour. Stir. Done.

“Wow.”

“This,” Tamaki pulled back from his sip, smile wide, “is so good! Kyoya, we’ll be buying this coffee brand from now on!”

“That’ll certainly save us a pretty penny.”

“Ahem,” they turned to look at the Princess. “I seem to have misplaced my cup. Get me another.”

“Alright.” It was easy, took seconds, and meant they were away from that brat for a few moments. They were grateful for the reprieve. They hovered their hand under the cup, walking towards her and slowly handing it to her. “Careful, it’s hot.” They straightened up at her sickly sweet look, but found themselves suddenly on the floor instead of as far away from her as possible.

“Oh, look at you, poor thing. What a clutz you are! Can’t expect anything from a graceless class like yours, though.”

“You know the rules, Princess  Ayanokoji: no harassing club members.” Haruhi was surprised Kyoya defended them. “Hospital bills are expensive, and so is finding new help.” Ah, there it was.

They sat on their knees, going to push up their glasses, but. Nothing. Where did they go? Their hands cast about the floor in search.

There was an argument happening, but all that mattered was their glasses.

“So--”

“While they’re all distracted--”

“I won’t tell you guys. You’re insatiable, you know that?”

One of them, Hikaru, huffed. “We’ll give you anything!”

“Anything?”

“Within reason!” Karou hastily tacked on.

“Though,” Hikaru’s eyes narrowed, “You probably want us to pay off--”

“Even…” They fiddled with the hem of their sweater sleeve. Things had gotten quieter, for some reason. They turned their head up, looking directly at the twins. “Even fancy tuna?” 

Someone choked. Hikaru was gaping and Karou had leaned in.

“ _ I’ll _ get you all the fancy tuna you want, Haru-honey!”

“Haru-Hunny?” Hunny tilted his head.

“No. Honey, like the sweetner.” Mori corrected. 

“Oh. That’s still weird, Tamaki.”

The twins ignored this, twisting around each other and kneeling in front of Haruhi. “Deal,” they said.

“Promise not to make fun of me for this?”

Hikaru was the first to fall to their puppy dog eyes. “Sure, I don’t see why we would.”

“And the ladies would never, they’re far too kind for that.” Karou turned his most dazzling grin on his fangirls, “Right?”

“Of course!”

“Haruhi is too cute to be made fun of,” the wispy voice girl spoke again. Haruhi resolved to find out her name after this.

“I’m faceblind.”

“WHAT!” Tamaki bulldozed the twins out of the way. “Does that mean that you can’t see how beautiful I am?”

Haruhi couldn’t help it: they laughed. It wasn’t anything small or cute, but a snorting, gasping, loud fit of laughter. Their eyes closed from the force of it and their cheeks hurt by its end. “N-not that type of blind, Tamaki.” They reached out for his shoulder and patted it quickly. “When I look at you, I can tell that you’re pretty, don’t worry.”

“I’m… pretty?” he blushed, before leaping to stand, “Of course I am, and of course you--”

“Tamaki, let him finish. I want to know how he tells us apart!” Hikaru barked, and Tamaki sullenly subsided into the comforting arms of a fangirl.

“Basically, I can’t recognize people visually. If I’m looking right at you, I can tell you what color your eyes are and stuff, but I can’t really piece that together with who you are. So, to me, you look about as much alike as everyone else does. But that just means I use other ways to tell people apart. You two have very different voices, and Hikaru tends to initiate things from what little I’ve seen but it’s Karou that is able to react and change them-- that’s why I asked you to walk when I wanted to check that I was right. I figured Karou would react first and, if he didn’t, that your walks would give you away.”

“Our--”

“Walks?”

Haruhi shrunk under the scrutiny of an entire room full of people. Their fingers went back to tapping and they ducked their head to avoid the stares. “Well, Hikaru walks, uh, loud?” There was a snort and the sound of the back of someone’s head being smacked. “His shoulders are thrown back and he takes these long, angry strides. Karou kinda sways, almost? He’s a bit more graceful or flowy or however you wanna put it.” At this point they were talking to their knees, one hand tapping and the other picking at the skin on their wrist.

“Now that you mention it, I can see that.” Kyoya broke the silence.

A clamor started up, but Haruhi stuck to their guns. They stood up, glasses still not found, and demanded, “Fancy tuna?” while unsuccessfully pushing down a blush.

Karou laughed, and Hikaru decided, “Tomorrow.”

The twins slung their arms around Haruhi’s shoulders, who immediately pushed them off.

“I have an idea!”

The club turned towards Tamaki, who was beaming. This could only mean bad news.

“We will be taking our break a bit earlier today--” a chorus of groans met his announcement, but Haruhi was relieved. Finally, some quiet. “I want to get our newest host ready, you see!” A new host? Haruhi hoped he wasn’t as obnoxious as the other boys. Tamaki’s hand clamped down on their shoulder. “Fujioka Haruhi will be debuting after our break! So, Mori! Get him contacts.”

“On it.”  _ He  _ had their glasses. Haruhi liked him a bit less now.

“Twins! We need someone to fix his hair!”

“I’m already calling,” Karou’s fingers flew across his touchscreen.

“And I’m setting up the station.” Hikaru had pulled out one of those weird tarp-bibs they used in hair salons.

“Kyoya, we need a  _ proper  _ uniform for them!”

“Of course.”

“And Hunny? You’re moral support.”

The boy pouted, but still walked up to Haruhi with a broad grin. “I can tell you what you need to know about being a host!”

They hadn’t even noticed that they’d been corraled into a back room, away from the guests. They hated how quickly things seemed to shift around here.

“Um, I don’t really understand what’s--?”

Arms hooked beneath theirs, and they instantly started kicking out, struggling, thrashing around.  _ Wrong wrong wrong don’t touch! _

__ “Time to change!”

“Unless you’d like us to help you?”

Haruhi’s reply was to shove them out of the curtained area. They huffily put on the uniform, begrudgingly admiring the soft, flexible fabrics it was made out of and how it fit nicely without smothering them.

“Are you done in there?” Tamaki called.

Their reply was to step out.

“You’re really cute when you’re not wearing those ugly clothes.”

“Yeah, I think we should burn those.”

Haruhi just glared.

Someone tall stepped in front of them and they backed up a step, squinting. 

“Your contacts.” Mori’s deep voice washed over them, low and soothing. They saw the blue, square blob in his hand and relaxed.

They put their contacts in with little fanfare and a lot of blinking.

“Well, the hair will have to wait until after today’s hosting sessions, but I think you will do quite well for now, don’t you agree, Tamaki?”

Tamaki had become a blush. He didn’t answer Kyoya for a long minute. “Yes, I think they will do fine.”

And more hands were on them, but Haruhi couldn’t take it anymore. The rushing in their ears had transmogrified into a harsh buzzing like hornets in their skin. 

‘STOP TOUCHING ME!” 

They crouched down, panting and shaking and weakly clawing at their wrists. Part of them wanted to  _ hurt _ to  _ get it out out out _ but they knew that wasn’t a good thing to do. 

“Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Breathe out, 4, 3, 2. In, 2, 3, 4. Out, 4, 3, 2.” Mori crouched in front of them, not touching. He just kept counting. They stopped feeling like they were drowning. “You don’t like being touched?”

“It hurts.”

“Please explain what you mean by hurt?” Kyoya’s face looked oddly taut as he said this, but Haruhi couldn’t puzzle out why. Did he not believe them?

“I gotta give my permission or it hurts. When I’m friends with someone it tends to be more okay--”

“Aren’t we family?” Tamaki looked like he was about to cry again, so Haruhi tried to offer some comfort.

“I know you see the club as family, but we aren’t close yet. I don’t know you. I might get to know you, but I don’t right now. And even with family, if I’m not expecting it or not feeling up to it, touch can still be uncomfortable or even painful. I can deal with it for handshakes and things like that, but you guys are really tactile. I can’t handle that right now.”

“I don’t like being touched either.” Mori confided.

Hunny sat by Mori, his bunny clutched close to him. “That’s why I never touch Mori-- he always picks me up and stuff, but I never initiate. Mori decides. You decide too, Haru-cutie!”

“Haru-cutie?” Haruhi scrunched up their nose. “You guys and these nicknames. Weirdos.” But something fond was unfurling in their chest.

“Do you think you can host?” Tamaki bit his nails, eyes wide. They knew this meant he was probably nervous, but they couldn’t think of a way to calm him down.

“I don’t know,” they opted for honesty.

“You’ll pay off your debt much faster by hosting, you know.” Kyoya was smirking. That meant he thought he had won.

They considered. They  _ did _ have to pay off this ridiculous debt, and they were getting a free uniform and haircut out of this, and the promise of fancy tuna hung over their head invitingly.

They looked around the room at each of the hosts, at Mori and Hunny still sitting in front of them. They realized that, for the first time in a long while, they found something interesting, something that made them  _ want _ to rise to the challenge.

So they shot a smirk at Kyoya, letting him know that this is most definitely _their_ win and not _his._

“I’ll be a host.”

After all, they still have a secret or two up their sleeve.

Like the fact that they are not a boy, for one.

Imagining the looks of surprise on the faces of the host members, imagining wiping the smugness away from Kyoya. Well, that would make dealing with the brat Princess worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just LOVE when Haruhi doesn't notice people fawning over them...  
> Yeah, no one's finding out that they're biologically female any time soon (perhaps even never). The nonbinary thing is gonna be a reveal during Tamaki's character arc. The arc coming up will be for the twins. I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit boring-- I'm trying to set everything up so the way things develop later make sense. I'm planning on MAJOR canon divergences, after all.  
> As a side note: every time I mention some sort of bugs in the skin for a character? That's what my own overloads and anxiety attacks feel like, inspired by a lovely sleep paralysis moment where I watched and felt bugs in my arm breaking through the skin on my wrist. Yuck.  
> I took some of Haruhi's touch avoidance like my own when I was younger! I'm ridiculously tactile now (though I still have my moments where touch is Not Good) but when I was a kid I was awkward about hugging /my mom/. I was fine with her hugging me, I just didn't like reciprocating. I avoided any sort of touch for years because I just didn't like it. But it was always easier, less staticky and bad, when it was someone I trusted, if I expected it, or it I initiated it. So please tell me if you'd rather I portrayed it a bit different, as this is based solely on my own experiences with these issues.  
> Haruhi is a bit more mischievous in my version of this, if you couldn't tell ;P


	3. Chapter Three

Haruhi regrets many things. They regret worrying their father so much. They regret breaking that vase. They regret being born. But, more than anything, they regret not making any friends in their Research and Marketing class, because the teacher said that the class would be working in pairs but one group would have to work in a trio and the  _ nice Hitachiin boys _ offered to pair up with the  _ poor new kid _ . 

“So, Haruhi--” started Hikaru,

“Did you know--”

They swiftly cut the boys off, opening their binder full of notes and jotting down ideas. “I know nothing.” A beat. “And, if it’s information that the two of  _ you _ have? Then it is certainly not something I am interested in knowing.”

There is an awkward moment of silence, and Haruhi revels in their power for a moment. No one else can shut the twins up, not the way that they can.

“That sounds like a medical problem.” Karou’s voice was playful, but his grin was a bit too big and his eyes narrowed slightly. He was annoyed that Haruhi threw the twins off so quickly.

Hikaru was quick to jump in, “Yeah! Maybe we could research that and do our project on the healthcare system.”

“ _ Bo-ring~ _ Hikaru. Really, the healthcare system?”

“Tch. Like  _ you _ have a better idea?”

Karou floundered for a moment, before slamming one of his hands on Haruhi’s desk, resulting in the paper they were writing on to wrinkle awfully. “We can do it on the fashion industry! Our mother  _ is _ a successful CEO of a fashion company, so we’d have the inside scoop!”

“Okay, so,” Hikaru slumped, “That is a better idea than mine, but I still don’t wanna do it on that.”

“Haruhi”

“Haruhi”

“Haru--”

“You guys are never gonna stop until we become friends, are you?”

“I don’t know. What do you think, Karou?”

“Well, I don’t like  _ not _ being liked, that’s what I think, Hikaru.”

“You heard the man, Haruhi. So, what’s it gonna be? You gonna cave now, or will you cave later?”

Haruhi thought for a moment. Their lips pursed as they carefully re-sorted their notes. The boys began to sweat nervously at the long, contemplative silence.

“...Haruhi?” Hikaru broke first, voice pitching.

Haruhi shook their head. “We can’t be friends.”

Karou placed a Hand on Hikaru’s shoulder to stop his brother from lashing out. “I see. Well, I--”

Haruhi bulldozed on, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere, “We don’t even have nicknames for each other.”

It was Karou’s turn to be stunned senseless.  _ That’s it? _

“Don’t scare us like that, idiot!” Hikaru slapped the back of Haruhi’s head.

“Ouch! That hurt, you jerk! Why did you hit me?”

“My idiot brother sometimes acts before he thinks,” Karou heaved a put-upon sigh and placed a hand on his chest, sharing a look with Hikaru.

_ Let them explain, Hikaru. Give them a chance. _

“Tch.” Hikaru pouted and averted his eyes.  _ Fine. I’ll play along with your game. For now.  _ “I’m really sorry, Haruhi, can you ever forgive me?”

Haruhi shifted under the pressure of Hikaru’s puppy dog eyes. “Fine. Fine! Just… Don’t cry, alright?” 

The brothers slotted away  _ crying can manipulate Haruhi into doing things _ for later.

“Yay!” Hikaru perked up, clapping his hands.

“You’re the best, Haruhi. So merciful!”

“I hate you both.”

“So…” Hikaru grabbed a chair and sat in it, resting his hands on the back and leaning forward. “Nicknames?”

Karou mirrored him. “Do explain.”

“You know. When you make friends, you gotta take steps. The first step to friendship is being comfortable around the other person. Nicknames are indicators of being comfortable. A milestone marker.” They took a deep breath, tapping at their collarbones. “That. That  _ is _ how it goes,” They bit their lip, hard. “Right?”

“Oh, uh.” Hikaru spoke before thinking, as per usual. He turned frantic eyes to his brother.  _ What do I say? Do I tell them that that isn’t actually a thing? _

Karou’s eyes widened a fraction.  _ No! You’ll just embarrass them. _

The twins both looked at Haruhi, who was playing with the hem of their sleeves, rocking slightly. Their big, brown eyes turned to the twins, and the twins covered their faces with their hands. In total agreement, they both thought:  _ cute. _

“You’re totally right, Haruhi. I can’t believe we forgot something so important.” Karou completely untensed as Haruhi smiled in relief.

Hikaru scrunched his nose, “I don’t want to call you anything like  _ Haru-dear,  _ the way that Tamaki does.”

Haruhi laughed. “Me neither. I’m sure we’ll all come up with good nicknames in no time, and then we can be friends, alright? For now, we have to focus on our project.”

“Okay, I was thinking--” Hikaru was cut off by the bell.

Haruhi looked extremely distressed. “We didn’t even choose our topic!”

Hikaru laughed, carefully winding an arm around Haruhi’s shoulders. “We’ll just exchange numbers!” 

Haruhi frowned. “I guess we’ll have to if we want to work on this project…” They fished around in their backpack for a moment, missing the thumbs up Karou sent Hikaru.

_ Good job! _

“Okay, here it is!” And with a beaming smile, they handed over The Monstrosity.

The twins felt their faith in the world die a little bit, at that moment, like a reverse Grinch situation, where their hearts shrunk three times smaller at seeing something so  _ awful _ .

“Is that.... A nokia?” Karou was the first to recover, as he gingerly took The Monstrosity between his thumb and index fingers, trying to hide his revulsion under a wan smile.

“No, no. It doesn’t even have a brand on it! And I doubt  _ this thing _ is a nokia!” 

_ Hikaru, no! We were doing so good! _

_ What’d I do wrong? _

Haruhi’s face had completely blanked out, not a speck of emotion to be found there. Their eyes didn’t even narrow, and all of their stimming came to a stop. “If you have such a problem with my  _ commoner’s  _ phone, then don’t bother putting your number in. I’ll just do the project and put your names on it.”

_ Ah,  _ Hikaru realized, sweating,  _ that’s what I did wrong. _

“No! Wait! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Hikaru--” Karou was cut off by Haruhi.

“Then what _did_ you mean it like?

Their little trio were the only ones left in the classroom at this point, so no one was around to hear this argument, luckily.

“Uh. Um. It’s just that, well. How do you even text your friends on this? It’s not a smartphone, and you wouldn’t be able to play any games or anything on it either? I guess I was just thinking that you deserved better or something?”

Hikaru was floundering, but Karou knew how to take his brother’s blundering words and twist them into something sweeter than they were. “We’re just not used to seeing phones like this. I mean, that’s clearly not a phone anyone with  _ money _ would get, yeah?”

Well, Karou wasn’t always  _ better _ at speaking. This was made clear by the twitch of Haruhi’s eyebrows, the way their fingers went white-tight around their books, their lips going flat.

Then they sighed, all tension abruptly loosening. “I get that you’re both not actively  _ trying _ to be rude, but you are being  _ extremely _ rude. I have this phone because it doesn’t break easy, has a long battery life, and is cheap. It’s affordable and does it’s job. You are both very privileged and I know that it’s not entirely your fault, so I’ll cut you some slack just this once. Stop looking surprised when I don’t have the newest something and  _ definitely _ don’t comment on how  _ I deserve better _ or something. It’s insulting and infantilizing and I  _ refuse _ to put up with that.”

Hikaru frowned, nostrils flaring and eyes narrowing. People were always  _ refusing _ to put up with him and his brother.  _ No one  _ had a say in what the twins did or said but  _ them _ .

_ Hoe don’t do it, _ thought Karou at his brother.

Unfortunately, Hoe  _ did _ do it.

“I said you deserve better because I can  _ get _ you better. If I want to be your friend, I should want to get you things, yeah? You being mad at me for being nice is just ridiculous. And my mother  _ worked _ to get where she is today, and we’ve been learning and working under her. Just because I don’t like your phone doesn’t mean I’m  _ privileged. _ ”

Internally, Karou groaned. The twins wanted to pick Haruhi apart, and “friendship” was the easiest way to go about that. Haruhi was so interesting because they were able to see right through the twins, which put them on the defensive. Hikaru, already easily riled up, was on edge. He was going to sabotage the entire plan, and then they would have to come up with a new one, which would be an unnecessary pain. 

Haruhi glared. They marched to the classroom door and opened it, holding it open for the twins. They gritted out from clenched teeth, “It’s one thing to offer to get me something, or to get me a present for my birthday or something. It’s  _ another _ thing to insult my stuff and then offer me your pocket change to get something that  _ you _ deem better. What I have works just fine!”

“Haruhi, I’m sure my idiot brother didn’t mean it that way at al--”

“Oh, I meant it just the way I said it. If Haruhi can’t help but be so easily offended because I’m trying to be  _ kind-- _ ”

“Right. I’m doing the project on my own. I’ll put your names on it like I said, yeah?”

They stormed down the hall, opposite the direction the twins were going to go.

Hikaru said, in a voice that carried too much for it not to be directed directly at Haruhi, “He should join the debate club, since he wants to fight about stupid things!” 

Haruhi didn’t even turn to shout back, “Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll do that!”

They turned a corner, fuming and trying to calm down, when out from the shadows a voice gentled, “That would be three clubs you were in, correct? That’s sure to look good on your transcript, my dear.”

They stumbled to a stop, before beaming. “Nekozawa!”

He took two steps forward, carefully avoiding the sunlight. “Haruhi. It is a pleasure to see you again.” He paused. Took a breath. “It’s Wednesday.”

Haruhi found themself grinning against their will. “I’ll visit your club today, then.”

He immediately stood taller. “Fantastic news!” He offered them an elbow. It seemed both an elegant gesture and a playful one, much unlike how Tamaki did it, like he expected them to fawn over something so “princely”. They looped their arms and fell into stride with him. “Tell me, how have you been?”

Nekozawa had a way of unwittingly making them divulge information, so the whole mess with the host club and the twins came pouting out as they walked.

He fretted. “That’s awful!” Paused again. Grinned. Beelzenef made a reappearance, rubbing its hands together in a sinister manner. “We can cast their names into shadow and burn away the blights they have done unto you.” 

There was something to his grin, to the way he spoke, that made Haruhi blurt, “Hey, are you joking right now?”

His head canted to the side. “Possibly.” A dark, narrow corridor was before them. Nekozawa’s candle created eerie shapes on worn stone. “We have arrived.”

If Nekozawa’s belief was two parts true belief and one part humor, Haruhi would like this club much more than they had originally thought.

A dark, purple door swung open with an ominous creak. It revealed a greyed out room with a fire pit in the center.

“Are we the only ones here, today?”

“Yes. Most other members have disapproving families, you see, so they cannot officially be here and they cannot show up at the approved time. I meet with them sporadically throughout the week. The two that  _ do _ come have responsibilities to other clubs that mean they cannot arrive at our meetings as frequently as I’d like. Which is why, when you join the debate club, I will understand if you choose to skip club meetings from time to time...”

“Well,  _ I’m _ here now, and I want to attend as often as possible, and I’d like to see some of this  _ dark arts  _ stuff that you’ve been regaling me with.” They nudged him away from his melancholy.

He smiled at them, still so gently, and nodded. “Of course! First, to set your blights on fire!” He released them to flick a switch by the firepit. Immediately, a fire growled to life, licking at the edges of the pit. 

Haruhi didn’t bother questioning how this was structurally safe, let alone possible. 

“Write down the things that are bothering you on these papers. When you are finished, release them into the flame and be unburdened again.”

He handed them a pen and what looked like fancy index cards, and Haruhi reevaluated the  _ one part joke _ thing because huh. Maybe he hadn’t been joking?

They jotted down a few things, mostly their frustrations at all these rich people picking on them, and chucked them into the flame. It was oddly cathartic, watching the paper burn.

Maybe there was something to this.

“And now, I will guide you through a meditation.” He literally guided them to a cushy sitting area and readied himself to metaphorically and spiritually guide them through their mind.

Haruhi felt very indulgent as they sat down. 

They wanted to be friends with Nekozawa. He needed a nickname. That’s what they’d focus on this mediation.

“Breathe in four-- two, three, four. Hold four-- two three four. Out six-- two, three, four, five, six. Keep that up. In four… Hold four… Out six… I want you to imagine that you are on a pier, overlooking a still, darksome lake. The surface is so reflective that you can see the reflections of the petals of lilies on its surface.”

They screwed their eyes shut and imagined. They pictured their hands on the wood railing, the feel of the grain of smooth wood. They imagined a light breeze, cool and pleasant. A sunset sky, orange and pretty and calm.

“You kneel down at the end of the pier, and put your hand upon the surface of the water. You note your reflection.”

They could feel the cold-silk-smooth of water on their palms. They saw their hair, a brown fluff one friend had fondly named  _ The Cloud.  _ They saw their narrow shoulders held broad, the school uniform they wore. They took a deep breath.

“The surface splinters. It does not hurt, it is not painful. It splinters, and your hand sinks deeper, and you take the place of your reflection.”

Okay, so they had to totally reimagine the texture, but that was fine. They refocused on breathing. They expected the “clear your mind” shtick and this clearly was not that. 

From there on, Nekozawa’s voice faded in and out of clarity, speaking less and less as he allowed Haruhi to fill the space with their own thoughts.

When they opened their eyes again, they grinned. They had an idea for the project, and a way to put the Host Club boys in their place for a bit.

Best yet, “Hey, Nekozawa. How do you feel about me calling you Reynard?” Foxes were known to be guides, after all, and they were funny little tricksters to boot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Okay, so this will be cute and fluffy and--  
> Karou: Okay, but where is the TENSION?  
> Hikaru, yanking the plot from my hands: I will cause problems on purpose  
> Nekozawa: I need a friend :c And Haruhi Deserves Better 2k20   
> Haruhi: I'm gonna join debate club and create an entirely new plotline whaddup  
> Haruhi: Also. I like fire. A lot. This will not be used for plot purposes wink wink nudge nudge  
> Me: ajdbasb okay
> 
> sorry for not updating for like 8 years lmfao.  
> Please comment with what you think their project is and what their revenge is.


End file.
